I’m finding that TIME is becoming a more an more talked-about topic. Even my friends who aren’t directly into personal development are claiming the profundity of “the present is all we have.” 

Authors like Eckhart Tolle preach that we must honor “the Now” and leave other imagined “times” which exist in our minds. If the present is all that we have, then what value aught we place in our ideas of the imagined past and future?

In this series, I will discuss the potential place and purpose of “time” in our lives, and I’ll bring to the table some ideas of positive psychology than may allow our experiences and imaginations of time to be enriching forces in our lives. This first installment will focus on the past.

The Past

Practical Purpose:

So what value does the past have in our lives? We often hear phrases like “forget the past,” or “the past does not equal the future,” and in the right context I think these phrases can be useful.

But obviously I need to be able to have some mental conception of the past in order to do some very basic things – including fun ones like: finding my keys, remembering my friends’ names, remembering how to type blog posts so you guys can read my stuff, etc… 

So, we might say that the past serves us in the regard that we have experience to draw from – including our deeper conditioning (such as how to respond to certain things – like fire), as well as memory to use and to learn from (such as where I left my cell phone or what elementary school I went to). 

These practical applications are certainly useful – and the past is undoubtably a huge contributer to our learning. Drawing on memories of past events (such as relationships, work-related events, etc…) allows us the opportunity to break them down and gain the practical wisdom from them that is required to make even better choices in the future.

Beyond a Practical Purpose:

The past, however, might also be used to compel us to action, or to enhance our experience in a positive way.

One example of this kind of experience is that of gratitude. Gratitude implies a kind of thankfulness and appreciation for that which has occurred. For instance, we might be thankful for the kind of care our parents provided for us, or we might be grateful for the fact that we were able to buy our car for a good price.

However, we needn’t even find distinct events or things in our lives to feel grateful for. We could be grateful for the fact that we are alive, for the fact that we have the ability to pursue certain dreams, etc…

Its important to note that thinking about what you appreciate in your past isn’t necessarily enriching in and of itself. It is enriching because it brings our focus to the good which we have experienced, and possibly how that good has brought us to learn and grow in our own lives. In this way, we frame the past in a positive light and focus upon those experiences which we are grateful for.

This gives us access to empowering resources within us – and hence we may feel better and have a more adaptive mind-frame when actively engaged in the present. 

I think about it this way: If we’re going to refer to the past to draw upon information and to apply that information to better ourselves now, why not at the same time draw upon a positive state? Why would we frame things any other way?

Another important way to utilize our past in a positive fashion is by benefit finding. In this process, we determine ways in which certain events or situations – be they traumatic or otherwise – have brought about some kind of beneficial effect i our lives. 

For instance: A stolen wallet may bring about new habits for keeping one’s property safe. Stress might provide insight into how our thought processes affect us. 

Our experience will be mostly determined by our focus. Any event might have a thousand negative or a thousand positive consequences. We tend to focus on one or the other. I believe that we can understand the ramifications of the event, yet at the same time accept these ramifications and find something about the event we chose to hone in on – something that will bring about those higher resources.

Lets be Realistic:

I do not believe that self-deceit is healthy or adaptive, and in terms of the non-practical benefits of the past, self-deceit aught not be needed.

We can look at the past honestly – taking into account painful situations and events that we deemed to be undesirable around the time of their occurrence. 

However, the entirety of these past events can be viewed in the practical light – with big, Coke bottle “learning-lenses” on. It might be very important to learn from these experiences and use the insight that we acquire to better our lives now.

For example, if I was hit by a drunk driver on the way home from school, and my car was totaled, I certainly would not aim to take all the potentially “negative” ramifications of this event and “sweep them under the rug.” I would, however, strive to accept my new condition and find some empowering, exciting area to focus on. 

Looking back on the hypothetical accident, and maybe on time I spent in the hospital – I could seek to realize what I gained from the experience as a person. Maybe I was able to do a lot more reading, maybe my time in bed rest provided me with some reflection that I may not have done otherwise.

I don’t think that I need to say “I’m glad that this event happened” in order to realize the benefits, but I certainly must view it in a way that empowers me and propels me to joy and even enthusiasm in the present.

The point here is that we make these reflections not only growth-oriented, but enjoyment-oriented – by framing them properly and bringing about empowering states within us.

Some people might point out that mental time travel for the sake of positive emotional experiences might not be a healthy practice in principal. There is certainly an extent to which I would not condone such reflection. I believe that it is best to spend the majority of my mental focus on the present (and so channel my faculties into what I’m actually doing).

I obviously don’t believe that we aught to rely on memories for positive states, but if we recollect at all – it might as well be a positive force on our emotional state (rather than a negative or neutral one)!