In the self-development community, “positive self talk” is always emphasized. It’s recognized as essential. It’s “101″ stuff, you’ve gotta know it.

We strive to find the good in situations, to focus on the good within people and give them the benefit of the doubt, we focus on our strengths and on the positive aspects of our lives.

I agree wholeheartedly that these adaptive (healthy, growth-oriented) mind-frames are important in feeling as good as we can, seeing opportunities in front of us, and making the most of them confidently.

What if we cursed and yelled every time someone did something that we deemed to be counter-productive in terms of our own goals? If this was the case, most of the people we care about most dearly would be victims of our angry wrath.

What if each time our plans were thwarted, we focused exclusively on that one challenge – labeled it a “problem” – and felt terrible about it? If we followed this method, we’d be feeling so bad we’d never want to set plans or projects ever again.

The virtue of “positive self talk” is integrally related to taking the “empowering perspective.” This involves taking control of the meaning of situations – and so taking control of our feelings, our internal resources involved, and our behaviors related to the event. We can interpret a situation a million and a half ways – we aught to aim to take the facts into account and frame them in a way that will excite us and bring about acceptance, excitement, or empowered action, rather than anger, sorrow, or boredom.

However, there comes a point where this “empowered perspective” starts to get skewed, and the facts – as they might be understood in a reasonable light – become twisted to merge with our positive, empowered mind-frame.

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For instance, someone might tell themselves that on their way to work, all the lights that they see will be green – thus facilitating their timely arrival for work.

Already this kind of bold optimism seems to go against what might reasonably be determined to be the “facts” of street lights: they do not pick and choose who they want to let pass at what times.

This same person driving to work might hit a red light, and then promptly tell themselves that this red light is truly what is best, because it is timing them to hit only green lights from here on out.

Again this belief seems bold. This goes beyond the empowering perspective. In the empowering perspective, one might simply tell oneself “well, I’m at a red light. This isn’t “bad” unless I think it is. If I’m a little late for work then I’ll learn from this and leave earlier next time. As for now, there’s nothing I can do about this red light, I can’t change it with telekinesis, so I’ll accept it and enjoy this fun song on the radio.”

This perspective seems to actually assert that whatever is happening is happening IN LINE with one’s own betterment, with one’s own objectives.

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This belief might be fun to tinker around with when it involves issues of stop lights, but what about tragic events?

Many times, the same view is taken. People who loose and eye, or a leg, or two legs, or even a CHILD often express how the event had a meaning, how it was actually BEST for their own benefit (be it connection with God, personal growth, understanding of fulfillment, appreciation of life, etc…).

The belief that the entire universe acts in line with what is truly best for our betterment does not seem logical. Are you the only conscious being whose desires are being met by the entire universe? If that is the case, how can we both believe it?! Also, if the universe works continuously to fulfill our desires, why must we work for them, why must we experience struggle, why aren’t we perpetually in a state of infinite bliss?

Here’s the thing, though. Having this belief doesn’t seem to have any blatantly negative consequences other than sounding like you’re from California. It only brings us to truly believe in the meanings we assign to things, and it may also give us a sense of confidence in the universe itself when we believe that it works with us. This one belief can keep us in an almost permanent place of empowering perspective.

As someone in the personal development field, I see this issue as almost a dilemma in terms of our self development path. do we take on this belief and see what it can do for us, or do we aim to see things objectively (whether or not that involves a belief that the universe is always following our will) and take an empowering perspective on it.

For now, do some internal exploring. Take these thoughts and decide for yourself.

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